(Used to be a) Rockstar ........Parody

snowtiger · *Last edited by snowtiger : 06-07-2008 at 20:27.*

I'm through with snortin' a line
And chugging litres of gin
And readin' stories in the paper
'Bout my life of sex and sin
Still, it hasn't turned out
Quite the way I that thought it would be

(tell me what it's like)

I got a great big house
Out here in Beverley Hills
That my fifth ex wants to pay the divorce bills
And you've seen the pictures, 'cause I got
No privacy

(yeah, so what you need)

I wanna give it all up, but I can't give them in
I filled my nicorette patch with amphetamine
I was climbin' real high, but
I fell right outta the tree

(Been there done that)

I got splinters from smashing up an old guitar
And a blocked-up nose from snorting caviar
And a flippin' flippin' quad bike
Very nearly killed me

(So why'd you do it?)

I won't deny that I've had mucho fun
But I look eighty-four although I'm thirty-one

[CHORUS]
'Cause I'm a washed-up wannabe ex-rockstar
Now I lost my license when I crashed the car
The girls were easy and the drugs were cheap
Now I gotta take a dozen pills to get to sleep
And I've had enough of hangin' out in bars
And I got mouth cancer from the big cigars
Every old gold digger's
Had a piece of me
Every week-long wife
Wants alimony
You know..
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar

But after one night partying with my groupies
I picked up twenty-seven diff'rent STDs
Check into the clinic
Try and get my d*** sick-free

(I have a spirochete-a... on the house)

I'm gonna give my ex
A dose of the p**
I got a front door key but now she changed the locks
'Cause I did a centerfold that loves to
Blow for money for me

(So now ya sayin' "screw it"?)

I traded half my life
For fortune and fame
So when my life's cut short
Was it worth the game?

'Cause I'm a clapped-out coke-snorting ex-rockstar
And you have to keep telling me where we are
I got a big problem with technology
Can't figure out how to use the DVD
I still hang out in the coolest bars
Though my face looks like I could have come from Mars
My eyelids have hardened
Don't it make me weep
Yeah, an' I've got wrinkles
Seven inches deep
Wasn't always the wreck that you now can see
"Wasted" in the dictionary
Has a photo of me
Kids run away screaming
When I try to smile
So now I got my therapist on speed dial
well..
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar

And now I sing my songs
To a shrinking audience
As my band is playin'
Not guitars: accordians
I'm a washed-up singer who can't write a song
And my brain is kinda fried, so I get the words wrong

Well we all just wanna be big rockstars
As a life's ambition, hell, it's kinda bizarre
Now I'm addicted, drugs don't come cheap
And I'm anorexic, 'cause I didn't eat
My chest is covered with hot-rock scars
And my lungs are coated with cigarette tar
I got emphysema
And a vacant stare
Had chemotherapy
And lost my hair
And I know I'm last year's man, because
I'm not in "Who's Who"
But I'm in "Who Was"
Lost my nasal septum
I got six-inch piles
And I got my proctologist on speed dial, well..
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar
Hey hey I used to be a rockstar